I'm so HAPPY that I cried, Have you ever experienced it?

It's SOOOO DIVINE

OVERWHELMING!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR. 2011 WILL BE FANTASTIC & I JUST WANT TO SCREAM "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" ♥

WHAT IS IMPORTANT:

WHAT MAKES ME SMILE AND LAUGH LIKE CRAZY:

LISBON AT NIGHT UNDER A BEAUTIFUL FULL MOON:

HAPPY NEW YEAR

What I wish for you all is what I wish for myself.

What I truely wish for the upcoming year is WISDOM, HEALTH, LOVE, JOY and PEACE.

I wish to feel my strenght within, my courage and see/feel love everywhere!

May the Universe give us the strength we need to break all barriers and fears (I'm reading now: Feel the Fear and do it anyway).

In some kind of prayer please Universe give us the courage we all need to face our fears so we can move forward.

Give us LOVE to fill our lives and other's lives because where's love there's peace and everything is DIVINE.

Listening to a song or mantra: "You are invincible, You are infinite (...) you are everywhere forever more..."

WISH YOU ALL A FANTASTIC 2011 - LET GO YOUR FEARS OR NEGATIVE HABITS AND EXPERIENCE THE ABUNDANCE OF LOVE, HEALTH, JOY AND SUCESS! MAY 2011 BE THE YEAR TO REALIZE OUR DREAMS AND FOLLOW OUR HEARTS FROM NOW ON!

OM SHANTI

LOVE AND LIGHT TO ALL.

In the last day of the year (today), I decided to:

- change my wallet (which was a little bit dirty I must admit!) to a new one that my uncles gave me this Christmas. My new wallet is beautiful, white (is going to get dirty within just few days...)!

- buy new stuff to my curly hair: new hair clips and so.

- liquid for my contact lenses.

- food/ingredients for our delicious dinner...

-clean my messy room: still got to clean one of my main drawers

- call or text message my friends just to say how much I love them!

- listen to yoga kundalini cd - listening to mantras to fill my heart/soul and give me strength to the new challenger new new new year, where I will be a new skin, new and truely MYSELF where my heart is the leader.

- transfering files to computer - finally!

I learnt some years ago the real meaning of Love...

Love means freedom for me and sometimes we need to set someone free in order to see HIM/HER happy.

So, I'm letting go and trying to relax into "no-thingness"... because something sacred is about to be born.

Trying to remind my heart the best advice I've ever received: Give time to yourself. Not to the other but to yourself to heal and to breathe...
Sometimes, we really forget ourselves...

Reading treasures of life, treasures from and of love to fill my heart in this cold cold day...

http://www.jaisiyaram.com/blog/

Love is the key and finally I found people that think like me:

celebrates all religions because all religions are one and mean LOVE.

I hope all of you had a fantastic Christmas! :)

Tic Tac Toc... and our hearts are beating.

What makes your heart beat, what makes sense to you in your life, what really fills your life? It's a simple day, your cat waiting for you in the end of the day or a simple and delicious coffee?

The most simplest thing can be the deepest one. What is simple is unique.

The way my heart sees you

I love you because I don't have reason for it





I love you because GOD made us to fall in love





I love you because you are part of me and I didn't know





I love you because I feel I know you from other lives





I love you just because Yes, because God knows what HE does, because everything is Divine on earth because you exist and my heart will always fly high everytime I think of you and you may not know this but it doesn't matter because all it matters is what we have inside ours hearts... and I hold your heart inside me and you hold my heart inside you.

... because I want to fly through life


... because I want to fly through my dreams


... because Love makes you fly high

... because we all should fly in our lives







... and I really really really want to FLY!

The days have been passing by... so fasssst!

So, we are counting down to Christmas once again. It seems it was yesterday that I was writing the same "counting down to Christmas" post but it turns out it passed a year...

Today, someone asked me how I was feeling now that I turned 25 and my answer was: I hope, my 25 bring me the maturity and serenity I need. I'm living one day at a time and we can't change things in 1 day so I just wish maturity. Surprisingly that person found my face light despite all my tiredness.

I'm working so much lately, due my temporary job that I found myself wishing to sleep, eat and sleep again! My schedule changed completely as well as my daily routine... and I'm definitely different, I'm feeling different somehow. Maybe are my 25, maybe it is work, maybe it's my black moon phase... just GOD knows.

"Love and do whatever you want"

St. Agostinho

I'm finding what I need to transform

Last Friday I had a fantastic appointment with a my beautiful spiritual counselour. We spoke about some things but I listened to her, essencially.

So, I never heard about the "black moon" (according to astrology) but now I know what it means - finally!
My black moon phase started some time ago and I'm more calm than ever because now things have meaning for me. All my state of mind and soul have a meaning to be like it has been lately and despite not feeling connected to GOD sometimes I know and I believe HE's with me all the time helping me in this path. So, what I curiously found about the black moon was very interesting and it speaks about the emptiness. In this phase the emptiness is essencial to surrender and connect to The Divine. It takes a form of a White Unicorn which symbolizes the integrity setting away everything that is impure.

The big opportunity in this phase which may seem difficult for who is crossing it is:

surrender to what doesn't matter anymore, give it away and trust.

It drops the ego and fears to not disturb anymore. It doesn't mean passivity, but the will of changing and trust and it allows to feel the Divine within us.

So, besides not feeling connected lately I believe that GOD is within me, taking care of me, helping me and that's why I speak with HIM all day asking for HIS light and LOVE.

I'm accepting this new phase as a BIG OPPORTUNITY to cry all the sadness that I don't know sometimes from where it comes and give my fears a chance to go away.

I'm accepting my new phase with an open heart so GOD heals all my scars and give me JOY.

I'm accepting my new phase with an open heart but also with a smile on my face because this is the time to heal and solve what needs to be solved. This is the time for stop giving excuses to not be happy today... today is the day! And today I decided that I'm going for it, I don't know what to think because I don't need to think, I need to feel and I just know that GOD is with me and HE is cleaning all of my energy from useless thoughts, I just know HE's helping me to open my heart and surrender to a blessed energy that I am. I'm healing myself from my fears that I'm realizing that are huge.

And today, I deeply decided that I don't need more excuses to or not to.

Today I decided to be happy and it doesn't matter if I'm scared, if I look within I can see that my strength comes from GOD and this black moon phase it's an (my) amazing opportunity to learn, heal and love. It's my individual path.

Once I read: after emptiness something Divine is about to come. I'm sure of IT. I'm willing to be ME and vibrate just LOVE.

The way my ears are

Through oriental dance my ears become different and open to a different yet simple yet complex yet delicate music!

Today, I listen to a million of sounds that maybe I couldn't hear before. I hear/I feel everything within... and it makes me fly, fly, fly away... into the deepest emotions, where I can see myself who I am, where I can see GOD within me. I spread such a good energy of love and joy impossible to describe. Oh, dance and music - the eternal couple I am and turning to.

Feeling alive

Feeling my sweetness

Feeling my essence

Listening to my heart

He knows what it's best for me, always.

Seeking for life, seeking for love, seeking for God, seeking for beauty within me.

Changing Emotions with the Course of Time - 3 Apr 10

"Life has shadow and light and you will see both, you cannot avoid it. But if you are in the shadow, always turn to the light and start walking there, you will reach soon."

By jaisiyaram.com/blog

Today I just want to say...

"Can't you see that when I find you, I find me...

I need you to know, today, I wait for you always

(...) "

Dadi Janki

The most stable mind on earth.

Her words of wisdom are Universal and God's pearls.

I love You, Dadi.

I love You, Supreme Soul.

Day off -YES!

I started to work last week and 17 days of work (hard work) are waiting for me till Christmas.

Today, it's my day off and it never tasted so good! We usually tend to forget that little things that turn our life better and good when we enter in a roller coaster... that special coffee, apple with condensed milk... these special pleasures of life! So, today, on my day off I decided to enjoy these little treasures that makes life sweeter.

Living one day at a time, trying to meditate everyday and building my faith! As I said to my co-worker once everything is about faith. If you believe you can do it. I'm trying to believe because we all can do whatever we want if we have faith, love, courage and values within us.

I'm trying to find why I can't listen to my heart lately... oh, definitely I need my spiritual counselor and myself to find out what's happening. Till then I'm enjoying the emptiness and feeding it with my prayers...

Today it's a beautiful day to be truely HAPPY

Tomorrow doesn't exist

yesterday it's past

today means happiness

So, clean your mind from useless thoughts, go outside, see the sun shining and fight for your dreams!

Don't be scared, God will always take care of you, giving you love and strenght.

You can make it through the rain! ♥

I believe that Love never ends and Love is something you can't kill

*

I believe that Love heals and you healed me somehow

*

I believe that GOD change the course of my life so we could meet that day when I wasn't suppose to be there

And I thank everyday for the plans that GOD had for me

that day

♥

I know what I felt, specially when I left you

*

I trust GOD and I trust my HEART - completely. Because it's the only way I know how to live, it's the only way to live

*

I still believe in us, that we can be one and breathe as one

*

I believe/feel my heart is within you and your heart is within me and our hearts beat as one

*

I just don't know if we should wait longer when one of us is starting to aching

*

I just don't know if I can go forward now... I'm too scared. Our love is too good that makes me scare (?) - What am I saying? I'm prepared more than ever! What I'm waiting for?

Oh yes, waiting for my fears to dissolve into courage... where is my sagittarius side?!?!

Explanation: Too much thoughts, to much time waiting, killing time and trying to be happy... Conclusion: I realized we can't try, we must be happy everyday, individually and together.

And I know you are not going to read this post but I needed to say how much I care today.

* Suddenly I remembered what a woman told me once "I prefer a bigger love far away than a little love close by". It made me smile.

... And He Said "Congratulations. Now, we all belong to a family. Brahmi.

Keep practicing and you will experience God's LOVE more and more"

It's better to feel sadness than not feeling anything at all

I'm going through a taugh time lately. Since August I dived into some uncertain sea full of doubts and fears. I'm never worried as long as I cry a lot to wash my sadness but when I start to feel that I can't cry or I can't feel God and joy within me then something is definitely wrong. And it is.

So, in order to connect myself to the Universe and as they said "you need to feel fragil to feel things, you need to feel fragil to surrender and stop controlling everything".

I think that, everytime I feel fragil and cry, the ego completely disappears and I (finally) find myself and I always listen to my heart saying "no, I want this, that way you're killing me".

It's awful when we absolutely know that something kills our dreams but we still stay there trying to finish something because we think it's better that way, even if it makes us "not happy" (completely unhappy sometimes).

I don't know why I'm still doing X, when I want Y although I'm trying to do Z for now because I want Y, Z and maybe a W...

One thing it's certain: today, I didn't want X but I chose it so I have to accept my responsability in it and manage my emotions and decide if I really want X.

These fall/winter is getting more complicated that I would like and it's affecting my brain :(

* I'm thinking how much my therapist is right. I'm taking decisions which are supposed to be mine but they are like that as a result of pressures. It's time to decide, it's time to be me, it's time to be happy*

Starting over, step by step

We all have our phases, our ups and downs when we feel desperate about our life.

I've decided to start with simple things, besides allowing my tears to drop on my face in order to clean my soul from all sadness that was somewhere inside me...

So, today, I started with pancakes for my break and after dinner I cooked a greek snack made with filo pastry (damn, I didn't know how much I like filo pastry!). Of course I already ate one (just to taste!) and I concluded that I need, specially know, to feed my body with all marvellous food I can take and my body wishes.

And I found this fantastic website full of recipes: http://www.ilovemygrub.com/

I hope you all get in love with food as I'm falling right now...

"

(...)

Real humility, that is, humility as a power, is another word for self-respect

(...)

Another secret is that your ego is not going to go away just like that.

In fact, it is going to follow you everywhere! Even into meditations filled with great light...

You'll just be sitting there when all of sudden, this or that thought from your limited self will emerge, pulling you down in a second.

To come down like that means you are still open to influences of a lesser order. This is a sign of ego.

(...) Ego is very subtle, which is why it is not easily detected.

However, if you stay alert and pay attention to yourself, you will be able to maintin your humility regardless.

You will be able to remember that whatever is happening is a test.

You are being tested on your determination to not allow anything to touch your wings.

(...)

Maintin your self-respect by remembering that you are not going to allow ego to reach you, you are going to keep it behind you.....

While you just continue to fly."

Dadi Janki, from Wings of Soul

So still in a zen mood,

today I've allowed myself to rest a bit

I slept in the midle of the afternoon just because yes (I really needed that!)

I left all things that I have to be done aside

I'd breathe as I never breathe before

I've allowed myself to feel my essence

I'm loving me

Giving time to heal all wounds

Giving time to myself

Expressions of Love

So, I've added a new therapist to my "collection". I had my first ayurvedic massage today and despite my back (that "suffered" so much in that massage in order to take all my tensions away....) I'm in a super zen mood - and I should be!

I was wondering how much love I'm taking from outside to help me, to relief my pains, my wounds... how many people are here with me, helping me everyday, every session. I know that's their work but they could only show me their work, instaed of it, they show me and give me their hearts, their love, their energy, their words, their time, their hug...

After my massage, me and my therapist spoke a little and I drank a hot tea.

This helped me so much... in ways that I can't explain by words.

It was good. It really helped me flowing my energy, my emotions, which were so deepy inside my heart...

I'm love with books

Well, what can I say... a book fair... my newest and innocent sin I'm admiting here!

Everytime I see a book fair I start to think "oh no... books!!!!! I have to see that fair!".

Of course I took a lot of time checking all the books I wanted and I'm concluding I wanted them all! Aaaahhh I just could think "why I want all these books when I have tons of them everywhere in my house?". It's something I can't avoid, I love books, I found it's one of my passions which I think it's very good!

Celebrating life, strenght and LOVE.

Celebrating GOD in my life. Celebrating ME as HIS daughter and HIS strenght and peace within me. Because Life and Joy comes from within, because beauty comes from within... I'm in celebrating life mode, because it has to be like that! Because it is like that but most of the time I don't realize that. Because I'm finally taking decisions based on my intuition and HEART! And HE is with me all the time, watching me as I ask HIM to guide me and protect me, always and forever.

Because there's no time for sadness, I'm enjoying the best of me, the woman I am, the strenght I am believing that I'll become better, beautiful, stronger.

Because we need to experience death to reborn, we need to find darkness to become bright. I feel that I'm turning into a new me. Again.

Dancing in the rain

For the first time I danced in the rain. Without make up and jewelry I dressed my costume and surprised a friend. I danced in the backyard, I danced under the moon, I danced in the rain and I felt blessed with every raindrop. She cried with my dance and I felt my strenght, Love's GOD and protection while I danced... in the rain, for her (her birthday present).

Some quotes for today (directly from BK, my home):

- Love heals

- A thought heals

- knowledge is light, where everything is crystal clear

- without peace there's no love, if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't like yourself you don't have peace

- I make it happen.

- Set your mind free from what's not allowing you to breathe.

- You are the solution. Never the problem. Never believe in bad things other's say. Believe in yourself. You deserve happiness. It requires a lot of courage and love but God gives you that. It's your choice. Let's be happy?

Because LOVE is the ONLY THING NO ONE CAN KILL...

* I heard this quote another day and I feel like sharing such wisdom

Yesterday the Goodbye Man went to the light

I had the opportunity to say goodbye to him once and you can't imagine how much the simple gesture of smiling and saying goodbye to a such sweet man, who dedicated his last years making other's happy, coloured my soul that day. Lately I'd been thinking about him, I wanted to say more goodbyes to make him and myself happy, it was like sharing positive energy without knowing each other!

Without Love nothing worths.

He coloured our city and our lives just by smiling!

Thank YOU Senhor do Adeus*

* For those who don't understand what I'm talking about please follow the blog I found telling the story of this man (in portuguese version only, I'm sorry - please try some translator to read the post): http://e-se-tentarmos.blogspot.com/2005/03/o-homem-que-diz-adeus.html

No one said it was going to be easy

When you take your life and take control of it as a Queen/King you may find obstacles although you stay there because you know/you feel that it's your path.

The warrior in me is saying: Go away, go away, live your life, live your dream... I deeply feel inside that I have so much strenght that I could even share it with others but I'm not using it not even for me (?!?!)... or it's just my wrong perception?!
It's so interesting that I'm not afraid about living my harder dream because I know GOD/Universe protect who is brave although I don't do anything about it (or by another words, I'm trying to be calm and rational - I hate this word! I can't use just my mind, I just can't. It doesn't work for me being just in my head and I hate when I'm too rational, I feel I'm loosing so much from life - but the real thing is, now, I want to definitely explode because I'm tired - God knows why I'm so tired... I'm tired of wasting energy doing something that I know that doesn't work for me. It doesn't make me happy, it doesn't make me smile, it doesn't give me the challenges that I need to grow!)

You see, I have to much thirsty for life. I desire with all my guts to grow, to do better, to give more, to feel more... everything more! and my thirsty doesn't kill me, it gives me life instaed.

I'm fire and I don't allow anyone to kill me but I kill myself. I'm my best friend and my enemy.

I have darkness and I have brightness, as we all have.

I know what it's not working. In this case, university stuff it's not working anymore.

I can say I've reborn after my depression. Oh, one thing that is definitely good after that is knowing me better than ever and feeling my essence and finding so many good things that makes life worth.

But for me, university.... bah! I'm still playing the game... studying etc etc, yes, or I'm tough or I'm really silly ahahahah (I admire my sense of humour in my darkness!)

No one said it was going to be easy. I found my problems within, I found what is killing me on my daily basis and setting me away from happiness but no one said it was going to be easy to solve all the problems...

So, one day at a time! Taking time and air to breathe... thinking with mind (if necessary) and HEART, because life without heart doesn't mean anything.

And because I truely believe in Universe, I'm doing my part. I'm helping myself and trying to open my heart more and more. May the Universe send us all bright light to guide our paths, even the hardest ones.

Because, I know that I can ignore some things, I can be silly by asking myself everything that I see (and even what I don't see!) but I can't ask the Universe things I've felt deeply inside.

So, for those who think I'm crazy or I don't live in the real world (this one is good!) I just have an answer: The Universe ISN'T silly, HE knows what HE does and MY HEART knows what's inside and I can't contest it. We all just need to listen to ourselves/our hearts! Did I mention that it isn't easy? Yes, sometimes it isn't at all... that's why I'm trying to colour my essence with courage every day!

So, I wish we all GOD's LOVE, HIS bright light, courage and strenght to change what it's not working for us - we usually deeply know that - but we got stuck somewhere thinking we can't change because... (Why we can't? Who said that?!)

My next challenge is doing exactly the opposite if someone decided to say to me "you can't"... Let's see if I can't.... who's the Queen/King of my/your life after all? (My Sagittarius is screaming today! Like that!!)

Saying Thank YOU, GOD

I thank GOD for all the blessings that I have in my life

I thank GOD for my strength (that I forget so many times I have)

I thank GOD for being who I am, for crying and for smiling from within with all my heart

I thank GOD for ALL LOVE I receive from HIM, UNIVERSE and from my family and friends

I thank GOD for giving me the courage to heal myself

I thank GOD for loving me in all situations and guide me in the dark

I thank GOD for HIS LIGHT, because I know GOD saved/save ME in my JOURNEY

I thank GOD for everything, for what I've achieved till now 'cause the best is always yet to come

Keep your dreams away from others

if necessary

I realized that when we feel tremendously happy about something sometimes we tend to tell others how happy we are and how blessed we feel for that but we can forget (even for seconds) which ears are going to listen to us.

Even a huge friend can show you how he/she is afraid of that situation or how they are concerned about you (it helps if you are crazy like I am!).

My way was always not to tell everyone what's happening or what's making me very happy...

I choose which ears I want to hear me but, as I said, even a huge friend can say things that you don't like. It's part of life. So, after that situation and some comments that I heard, even when my friend was kidding, I now choose to not hear part of what he/she says, it's just like selecting words that are about to go into your ear. I know that that comments will hurt or puts my mood down so I have the choice to select what it's going to be part of me.

Acception by the one's you love is always difficult (family, friends, etc).

It takes courage, love and dedication to show them that you are just following your unique path.

For me it has been difficult but I'll keep going on because no one can live my life for me.

It's hard to realized that just few people accept you but, as long as you accept yourself and you know you're not doing anything wrong, then... go away and live your dream!

Looking for changes

Even when if the sky is dark

Even if it's rainning

Even if you're feeling alone

Don't worry.

You can always do things by yourself.

You just need to believe in you and TRUST the UNIVERSE.

Today I heard: If you believe in the Universe and set yourself free. If you help yourself and look for changes. Then the Universe will definitely help you to reach your dreams and goals.

The Universe helps if you help yourself

I'm ready to travel within myself more and more. I'm ready to work hard and I'm ready to face my fears... I'm ready to be ME, more and more. FREE and HAPPY.

I TRUST. I BELIEVE. I WILL DO IT.

I KNOW THAT I CAN

The reason why I was feeling dead inside is because I allowed my old person to say hello again.
Did I mention that I was leaving my old skin and feeling new? Yap, I've said that! But, for some reason, the old person was trying to come back to control everything again..... yes, ok, nice try!

Yesterday I realized that - finally! I analized all things which are happening with me (inside myself). I'm not feeling happy at all and the way I recognized that, was completely scary, like if it was "normal" to be unhappy!!!!???? So, after 1hour of therapy I decided to do something for me... again! I'm always feeling that I have to remember myself why I am here, why I am doing this, etc, etc, etc. I need to remember myself that I'm a warrior, I'm strong enough to deal with my fears, my ghosts and with my darkest side. Just GOD knows how difficult it is to remember myself over and over again sometimes... Just GOD knows how difficult it has been to cry when I feel desperately I have to clean my soul from negative energy. Lately, I just can't, my tears seem to be made of jelly and they are stuck in my eyes so, no washing soul for now.

I still believe that I am the Queen of my life.
I still believe that I can do everything that I want when everybody around is saying "You can't".
I still believe that I can do everything but I need to believe it NOW, TODAY! And I'm not...(today)!

So, after 1 hour of talking I realized that I'm not doing what I deeply deeply want, I'm taking decisions that I'm supposed to want but if I look deep within I can see that I really don't want that and everything has a price. The price of doing part of what I don't want/doesn't make me happy is loosing myself, my balance, my mental health and this is not good...
So, today, I just want to say: This is not working for ME. There's life outside with lot of blessings waiting for me and, for some reason, or without reason, I'm not seeing that because I'm wasting my energy thinking about things that really doesn't matter at all.

Being happy isn't always easy (what a stupid quote that makes completely sense...!!!). It REALLY takes COURAGE to be happy... and probably you will be seen as crazy/completely insane person by others but it doesn't matter*. As long as you can be yourself (totally) nothing matters*. If you really want something from your heart doesn't matter how long it takes your path, doesn't matter if it isn't easy... you will just keep walking to reach your dream.
And this is the point where I am now.

That's enough for me. Life is freedom and I'm not being free with myself.
The time of change begins now.
More than ever. More than ever.
Because this is the only way to be happy.

* by doesn't matter I don't mean you have or are going to hurt someone. You just need to follow your heart and sometimes people can't see that by not accepting you as you are... (and I know how it feels like...)

Happiness is for those who believe in TRUE LOVE without judgements...

Because LOVE means FREEDOM

LOVE sets you FREE.

And by LOVE I mean every kind of LOVE.

Yesterday I read a beautiful quote saying something like this:

The emptyness isn't that bad. It can cause loneliness and sadness but in fact emptyness means everything because it considers all possibilities of something happen.

So, don't worry, be calm and feel the emptyness because after that something Divine is about to born!

Pearls of Wisdom

In times that I need signs I received another one, from a stranger woman that spoke with me in the most unexpected place. She started speaking about zodiac, telling things about astrology and we end up talking about LOVE where she finished with this beautiful quote:

"I always believed that it's better a big love far from you than a little love close to you, so I go where my heart tells me."

I couldn't agree more!

Why should we content about a relationship that doesn't give us much when a bigger love is awaiting?

It doesn't matter if it's close to you or not. You always know when LOVE is BIGGER. You always feel it...

Let's follow our hearts without fears?

There is nothing like home and home is where your heart is

I'm feeling at home because I'm finding my heart. When you set your mind FREE from all controlling thoughts it means that you set yourself free from all your useless thoughts, all negative energy and you are ready/free to feel your heart beating.

I left my mind somewhere, I'm leaving part of me that doesn't make sense today.

I'm breathing and not controlling anything at all taking all the Peace that just the Universe can give to you...

Breathing... And loving more than ever, everyone. Even if just for seconds.

Living/breathing this message from the Universe:

One day you will see that NO ONE can cut YOUR WINGS.

And you will feel, maybe for the first time, true happiness.

~

I lived for some time of my life trying to ignore what I am inside. Today, I'm not afraid to say what I want, what I like, what I feel. We need to live everyday fully.

Be unique

Be YOURSELF

Without fears 'cause Universe takes care of YOU when you allow yourself to be true with your ESSENCE.

Listen to yourself.

TRUST in Universe and in YOUR HEART.

They always know the right way/the answer :)

So, as a declaration to the world:

Yes, I'll follow my dreams and my heart. I just need courage!

If you know where I can get some please let me know!

Another one filling me...


"Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
A small but still resilient voice
Says hope is very near

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will

somehow you will
You will when you believe

You will when you believe
Just believe...

Just believe
You will when you believe"

It's all about HOPE, FAITH & THE UNIVERSE

Strenght

We received pearls everyday, pearls made by wisdom from a stranger, a beloved friend or just from nature. They are all from Universe who is trying to tell you something... we just need to receive it.

Today I received a music which says:

When you get caught in the rain

(...)

With no where to run

(...)

That you just can't find your way home

You can get there alone

It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own

(...)

Don't be afraid, there's nothing you can't face

And they should tell you, you'll never pull through

Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again on my own

(...)

Food for your soul.

Food for MY SOUL when I most need IT :)

Oh, I miss my trips!

I know that I said "from now on I'm going to save money and I'll be very quiet doing my thesis this Summer and studying for my last subject" but I still miss my trips! I like to observe, explore new cultures and breath new fragrances (and/or pollution). Being outside allows me to be completely inside and I like to test myself in the most strange and magic places.

I want to feel my Indian part in India where my sparkling essence can find itself.

I want to be part of a beloved country, where I can test myself over and over again.

I want to throw away old thoughts and prejudgements that I may have and which are so traditional in all cultures...because we all judge without noticing it sometimes.



I want to push myself more and more... to live totally and FREE.



I want to leave my old person behind, the thoughts and energies because they no longer can survive inside me because I'm new.


I'm trying to reborn in order to find myself and be totally free and happy...
I want to smile not just in my cells but also with my liver!!



ps: I still miss my trips! And I never thought I would say this, but: I miss Paris... :)

Preparing the next East Festival 2011 in Lisbon, Portugal

And the process started/starts... sending emails, organizing schedule, teachers, themes... everything!

Plus, organizing another event in the capital.

A bussiness woman, that's what I feel I am from times to times.

Brrrr... I'm dreaming...

... and leaving my ego in order to taste my sweetness essence/soul and LOVE's GOD inside my heart.

Om Shanti

Picture from BK

Once I read

Don't be sad because some friends are going...

Be happy because new friends are coming...

This is the gift of the Universe

* I'm learning to be detached and everytime I feel that I realized that I love much more that I did previously...

I don't love you because you said Hi, I love you (all) with all my heart just because you exist...

a pure love without conditions. As Love's GOD.

I realized that I'm turning a new me

We are always changing and I've realized that I'm also changing in some aspects.

So, let's see:

- I'd always enjoyed all seasons, from spring to winter, I never complained about it but lately I'm wishing a long summer or a long spring and a short winter just to force me to stay at home resting. I always said winter is good to sleep, be under the blankets and watch movies!

Oh, and drink hot chocolate nhamiiii!

- I'm listening myself more than I used to and we all should do that. Sometimes... I still forget me but something always reminds me that, so I can stop and pay attention to what it's important.

- I'm saying to myself "this is not you, this is not your life. This is not good for you. Drop it and take another thoughts - pure and positive"

- I get furious sometimes when someone doesn't understand what is saying to me/is saying things without meaning when I don't need to hear those things (we all need a break ok? Especially when we are sick and just need to sleep to recover our energy).

What I usually do is look within and say "ok, I can be sad and furious sometimes, there's nothing wrong about it. Now, stop thinking about others and think about YOU because no one is going to do things for you or be happy for you." and by saying this all the furious turned into tenderness.

- I have feeling fluctuations within me.

Lot of doubts, lot of questions - asked by my ego and sometimes, maybe, by myself.

Ego and consciousness can't cohabit in the same frequency. If you consider that your ego is speaking instaed of your essence then consciousness is present and ego starts to disappear (yes!). How I've detect that? Well, my ego is very destructive, doesn't say anything to make me happy, on the contrary but I'm trying to do what they teach in BK - give a present to your mind, speak like a mother speaks to a child with tenderness, love and patience. Instaed of saying to a (useless) thought "go away" give food to your mind and think about positive things that you like.

- Having faith. You just can feel it inside your heart and lately I was too much inside my head being less spiritual. Goal to achieve: listen to myself, listen to my heart because he is the only one who knows, and truly knows what is best for me. If you live inside your heart you can see GOD. If you live inside your head, well, you just see things through your head... put your head/mind and heart working together. Nothing has to be opposite.

- Stop thinking about useless things and start living... totally, fully, happily.

UPS, I did it again...

My body said "Hum, I'm tired" and I had pain all over my body.

My soul/heart said "Maybe you should take one day off" and my mind asked "can we make an agreement? Half day off?" - but I forgot it!!

Does a nap counts?

Now, I'm sick. Couldn't leave my bed in the morning because my body was full of pain.

I knew it... I've forgotten to take vitamins!

I'm not a wonder-woman, I'm human too!

I feel that since Friday night I entered in some kind of roller coaster. I hadn't time for anything I'm just moving from one place to another, being present in difficult moments and working hard...

Friday night after my dance class I almost flew to perform in another place. I'm feeling more and more that the stage is my world. In a specific occasion I asked for the audience's clapping to feel the music with me. First attempt. Nothing. Second attempt. Almost there. Ok...
Third attempt: I was clear enough and by gestures I said "I'm not hearing anything". Now, they understood! :) Oh, now it's really a show! They were following me, clapping and enjoying the music with me... Yes. All that a dancer wants... Having the audience enjoying the show with her :)
It was a night with up's and down's. Very interested people enjoying my show, a man making sounds that I didn't enjoy at all and people saying to my boss how much they appreciated my performance. Wow, I was surprised but it's not going to make me a star. I always want to grow more, be more, do more! Although it was good to see my work recognized.

Saturday night: ohhh... what a night! My car died, it was a huge problem to park it, hurry in the theater to get everything done on time. Some thieves opened my car but fortunately they didn't steal anything, just messed everything... and the car suddenly was working good. Ohhh....

Sunday morning: news that changed my plans for today.
Being present for friends that needed me, my support, my hug. Meeting friends that needed a hug, meeting friends that needed a smile. I'm turning an chameleon or I'm just growing up. Don't know. Don't want to know. I'm just trying to live one day at a time and trying to return to my meditations every morning to get God's energy and LOVE.

Day by day finding my balance... and working hard as I'm going to study now, at 11.40pm (Thanks God we have coffee for these moments).

Love and happiness.

Key words

Patient. True. Honest. Authentic.

Myself. Light. Essence. Soul. Generous.

Acceptation.

Do everything according to your self, be yourself every second of your day

Be light. Be YOU.

Feeling good

'because you can be sad with some friendship circumstances but life will always show you how things can be better when you detach from it.

So, despite loosing some friends lately (they have the right to choose what is best for them - always! We all have...) life is showing me that new friends are coming, not better friends but friends which energy is on the same frequency... people that want to plant a seed everyday to make a stronger friendship. And by that I mean, maybe I'm not loosing anything, maybe I'm receiving better feelings, better energies, better moods... maybe, more honest friends (without saying goodbye for those who are just sleeping and don't wake up to solve things with me when I tried to do so... the best person I can be for them is sending love and happiness, always).

Celebrating life mood today!

Today I saw how a human being can be really bad, poor and evil...

I was just driving in a very normal day when the car in front of me throw away a little cat to the street. The poor kitty barely could walk and I almost had a heart attack. I immediately stopped my car and jumped out of it to find the poor cat (while everybody was staring at me and asking themselves who is this crazy woman or what is this woman doing?!?!?!?).

My heart was beating to fast and I was so furious to see that happened (and happens?!?!?!?) in XXI century... couldn't believe in my eyes... how evil can a person be to do so!!

Unfortunately I couldn't find the cat... the poor little cat. I'm still shocked...

Feeling baladi

Listening to music over and over again in order to choose which music should I dance next week. Hmmm... feeling soooo baladi and diving into my essence to reborn.


Listening outside the rain falling... and feeling lazy, very lazy whilst my heart is in another place, far from here.

Picture from Brahma Kumaris to inspire us...

I would like to keep inside of me 24h/day all the good things, good energy and all love that we receive from our days... and I'll do it! As the weather I'm also feeling unstable, feeling that something is wrong inside me, feeling my ego trying to survive no matter what (and by ego I mean that voice that keeps going on, inside your head worrying you about things that you just don't need now, in your life, in your soul... breaking you inner peace...!!).

I've already experienced days of rain where I was happy happy happy but lately... too much things to manage inside me, too much rain on my window (Someone IS really upset in the sky), too much to manage, that's all! This weather is putting me sad.... I'm trying to forget that I spent all my Summer studying, yes, I'm really trying to forget that because after all I'm not done with university yet. This will be my last year, thesis included and I'm soooooo anxious about it that sometimes it's hard to deal with all anxiety.

I need time to read, to relax and look within to start again my meditations. At least with these sad feelings that I'm feeling I learnt that I forgot me (again)... damn! I said "later I will do some meditation to balance myself" and "later" was always for tomorrow, and tomorrow... oh, I've really learnt now. So, I wope up 2 days at 6am to listen to some meditations because I needed to start doing something but it turns out it's not working, so, I'm trying to figure out the best meditation to do when you brain/mind is still too much active/negative and you want to calm down a bit...
And I really need to feel that I love myself! That's what's killing me right now... but I have no idea if it's suppose to "think" - "yes, I love myself" OR just feel that I really like me... that's hard. I'll try to get the 2nd one because it makes more sense to me, but I don't know... oh, I definitely need time to breathe and relax.

Quando Quando Quando

(When, When, When)

Flying with this.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLNTJd-gziQ

My inner answer: when we are ready...

Lalalalalala mood

My "lalalallala mood" (singing stupidly) has just one reason: the joy of being healthily alive! Ahhhh so much dreams to achieve, so much plans to change, do and change again because life always show us new (our own) paths.

The idea of taking a plane and change my world inside makes me truely happy! Today I just want to change for better.

Ohhhh I'm dreaming... awake... for a new place where I hope I can call home :)

In love with the following pictures:

My last show was almost superb!

That night I decided to be free, I threw away all my useless thoughts and I allowed myself to be ME;

I enjoyed every second and I definitely had so much fun.

I felt the audience staring at me and enjoying the moment as much as I did.

I immersed into the music, I enjoyed myself and I definitely flew away... directly to everybody's heart.

I felt deeply in my heart that I reached something amazing that night and I could feel interaction, communication and respect!

Ooooohhhhh, I'm flying.

I'm in love with everything.

Flyiiiiing high

It tastes good, divine, sacred... feeling love inside my heart, feeling that after all I'm not a rock in my essence.

Things that I still have to do:

- prepare myself to fly on stage later (and it takes pedicure, manicure, hair, make up, costumes, jewellery...) and meditate (I wish I could have time to do that sometimes...) to say thanks Universe for all blessings and also for the strenght and courage that I needed to start solving all issues that were making me sad...

- pack all my stuff (costumes and all that I know that I'll need later (water, books, dried fruits, mp3 player...)

- Reorganize my week: so much to do and I'm just one...

*Feeding my soul*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LfUvi1bof8&feature=channel

Today it's going to be (or I suppose it will be) a long long post so take a deep breath....

Damn, conclusions till NOW:

- We are alone and some friends aren't really friends. To explain everything in this sentence...

I don't personally believe that we are all alone, I believe that, no matter what you believe (God, Universe, Energy, etc...) we are always protect by a Supreme Energy that Loves US as we truely are (yeah, I said TRUELY!). But, some friends aren't really really friends... and as a friend told me once "the friends that you have now, maybe part of them won't to be part of your life in the next 10 years. I can say it now to you because it was what happened with me...". She's right, she's totally right and I never have doubts about that.

Definition of friends - another interesting quote to consider in my daily life. What's your definition of friend? Thank God I can say that I have some true friends, those that carry me when I most need them, those that don't judge me and are with me with their pure hearts sharing their lives and accepting my choices (even the most different ones).

Fortunately I know by heart their names and I don't complain about them as I shouldn't complain about some friends that don't show me their hearts... yes, I'm reaching the point where I give without giving to much and don't expect some people to be truely friends. I'm reaching the point "Auch, you hurt me, take the knife and leave please".

I think most people don't realize how a simple gesture makes the difference (do they??).

As a friend I don't expect you to tell me EVERYTHING about your life or about your things but when it's about doing something together like going to a place, taking an event together etc and when you speak about that with the other person and suddenly she is going with other people, everything is arranged and she says "yes, my ticket is booked" as if you never talked about it... Damn, it hurts a little. I'm not sure what means to be a friend anymore and it seems that I'm trying to not figure it out anymore. No worries. (I will try!)

Thank GOD, I like to be alone and I never feel that I'm actually alone. HE is with me and I trust myself and I feel safe about ME.

Fortunately, and because life is amazing, in the meantime people that I just know are showing their hearts, being honest and helping me when I didn't ask for anything (I didn't ask anything to my other friend as well). They are being themselves... just it!

Conclusion: All that I ask in all kind of relationships is honesty. Pure hearts and true love without too much external information is a gift and I'm realizing it now. When I allow myself to just feel my essence, my true and sparkling heart, that we all have inside, I reach the point where I'm totally honest and ME. And I'm not intend to be arrogant with this sentence.

I just think/FEEL that sometimes we take to much external information (including me) and we can't manage all to select what is good from what is less good.

- Once again: Reorganizing my LIFE! I think I'll always do that and perhaps that's good. It may say that I'm not comfortable about anything and it makes me seek for more/better ways.

Although lately I feel that I need time for me. I really do. And today I spoke with my sister and I was (just) trying to talk about one issue and we ended up talking about another issue that is done for me and there's nothing left to say... oh, but she always like to say the same... damn, I freaked out I can't support more of this subject... I was suppose to be calm, I really woke up in a very good mood, I sang for me, I saw the sun shinning and felt blessed by nature but talking about the same or being the target of the day for some people shouldn't take me out of my mood as it did.

- My path is not your path!

Everybody has a different path and sometimes it's difficult to another person to deal with *your path*. What can I say? I face this one sometimes, maybe I'll face more in the future... just because I'm really looking for my path *outside, abroad, etc* because I feel and I truely believe that my path is direction X...

- Feeling tired. Feeling dizzy. Feeling lost.

Because we all have difficult days sometimes where we just want to lay down and take a deep breath.

Today I received too much noise from outside, so much that I just want to lay down, take a deep breath and meditate. And asking for too much, where I go: fall asleep in someone's arms (*his*)

- Leaving my comfortable room for a couple of hours to work/dance with my (new) girls!

Let's dance with our hearts... and fly fly fly :)

Re-organization mode 'cause I really need it NOW

Receiveing little gestures that fills my heart in my daily life. Sometimes just a simple smile or a simple word can open your heart and fill you peacefully, sometimes even from unexpected people.

Feeling sick. Because the liver is, according to traditional chinese medicine, the organ of emotions and I may be too stressed and running to much lately... and today my liver expressed it self through nauseas and I could barely eat! So, time to breathe, take a deep breath and take care of me. I mean, really taking care of myself. Being in silence because silence heals everything and I need to be quiet some days to balance what it's not balanced at all.

I usually have difficult asking for help when I need it. And I know there's nothing wrong about asking others' help, it's not a sign of weakness and I know that. Lately I'm feeling that I need help but at the same time all the things that I have to do just can be done for me so it takes me to another question: what's your priority? And because I woke up sick today I'm trying to remember what is really consuming my energy lately to put me like this...

A honest hug

Today I dedicate this post to my beautiful (female) friend who gave me the most honest and truth hug today.

Thank you.

I needed that :)

PS: Yeah I'm already crying like a baby just because I said how important you are/were today. This is the kind of things that every people should expect from me. I even cry when I'm happy!

But I'm normal too ok? Ahahahah

How I feel inside my soul - today

I know that I worth, I know my values and I know my heart.

I'm a good person and I feed my heart and other's heart with love and joy.

I don't need to prove anything because truth always comes up in the right time if you allow yourself to see it.

So, today I just want to say that I'm not trying to prove anything about who I am because you don't want to see me or know me deeply. Today, I'm not trying to control anything. Today I'm just living the PRESENT.

Today, I decided to take time to breathe.

Once was said happiness is a good book and a cup of coffee

(let's be happy with books and forget the coffee!)

Once a wise man said if you need to throw away some stones do it just don't keep the fury inside you

Once I read if the flower is the problem, cut the flower, even if it is an amazingly beautiful one

Once I read you can't keep the sand in your hands if you close them. The sand will disappear. Leave your hands open instaed and you will receive more

Once I read/felt one day you will understand that nobody can't cut your wings

Once I read/felt 1st you need to be happy with you, after that you are ready to be happy with others

Enjoying music as part of me

So, OK I'm going to admit this, I found one music that found me and reminded me how I was and how I am today (after my highest point of depression, when I realized that I just needed to be me and to accept me with love and total respect. I realized that I don't need walls, bridges or whatever in order to avoid being rejected. We all just need to TRUST, being UNIT and LOVE.
I don't have more scars today.)


"I know that the bridges that I've burned
Along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars
That won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty
When I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody
But it's never too much
I'm falling fast but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my walls

So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

Off you
Off you


So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
And oh..this feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you"