I would like to keep inside of me 24h/day all the good things, good energy and all love that we receive from our days... and I'll do it! As the weather I'm also feeling unstable, feeling that something is wrong inside me, feeling my ego trying to survive no matter what (and by ego I mean that voice that keeps going on, inside your head worrying you about things that you just don't need now, in your life, in your soul... breaking you inner peace...!!).

I've already experienced days of rain where I was happy happy happy but lately... too much things to manage inside me, too much rain on my window (Someone IS really upset in the sky), too much to manage, that's all! This weather is putting me sad.... I'm trying to forget that I spent all my Summer studying, yes, I'm really trying to forget that because after all I'm not done with university yet. This will be my last year, thesis included and I'm soooooo anxious about it that sometimes it's hard to deal with all anxiety.

I need time to read, to relax and look within to start again my meditations. At least with these sad feelings that I'm feeling I learnt that I forgot me (again)... damn! I said "later I will do some meditation to balance myself" and "later" was always for tomorrow, and tomorrow... oh, I've really learnt now. So, I wope up 2 days at 6am to listen to some meditations because I needed to start doing something but it turns out it's not working, so, I'm trying to figure out the best meditation to do when you brain/mind is still too much active/negative and you want to calm down a bit...
And I really need to feel that I love myself! That's what's killing me right now... but I have no idea if it's suppose to "think" - "yes, I love myself" OR just feel that I really like me... that's hard. I'll try to get the 2nd one because it makes more sense to me, but I don't know... oh, I definitely need time to breathe and relax.