WOW - I should say!

My life is moving again... new friends arriving, friendships getting deeper and deeper and new challenges on the way!

For those who know me, I don´t dare to try a dance floor if I don´t know the basic steps of a dance - I just don´t! I will stay watching and trying to learn and figure it out if that suits or not my soul.

So, yesterday, I had a BIG challenge - SALSA night! What?? Yes, salsa night! I was invited by a new friend and I felt like going just to make some company and... watch! 

But someone UPSTAIRS had bigger plans for me (Thank YOU!!) and I found myself being leaded by all the new friends I met. Another challenge for me - for a person who is used to be THE man, woman and everything in one single pack called moi, being leaded was the biggest challenge of all, forget the steps...

Trusting in somebody´s movement, somebody´s hands to touch your hands to lead you and being close to someone (body by body) is far more difficult than memorizing the steps... so, I accepted the challenge and I made it... somehow!

I was just wondering how can people think that oriental dance is sensual and provocative and salsa is completely acceptable. You have to SEE people dancing salsa from all their guts, body to body, heart to heart... It´s absolutely fascinating, it will catch your eyes, your heart and rythm, but still, oriental dance is the evil... and you dance alone... I think I´ve been missing something here!

What is happening with the world?

In a very rare and relaxing moment I found myself watching TV tonight. For those who know me they will tell you that this didn't happen... but it did! While eating tonight I felt like watching TV and try to catch up the lastest news.
I realized why I don't see TV, all that negative news from all over the world can depress even the most optimistic person. So, I finish that "news session" asking myself what is happening with the world? Why is everybody fighting? It's seems that no one can escape now from having protesters on the street, a civil war, victims etc etc. I seriously just can ask what is happening?
Intead of trying to communicate with our neighbours we get angry.
Instead of trying to understand other cultures we insult and attack.

And I ask again, what is happening?

Living in the Middle East makes us aware of, obviously, happens in the nearest countries.
Today, when reading the news on the internet I found something I did not know about - the video which is shocking Muslims. To be honest, I saw an excert of the video and I felt disgusted with the content.
No one has the right to atack other's religion/point of view, person etc - absolutely no one! Unfortunatelly the video was horribly made atacking a religion which spreads love - like all religions.

The thing is: we shouldn't attack others because we don't understand them or because we do not agree with them or do not follow their religion. You should instead accept their differences as a blessing and live with each other in peace!

How blessing the darkness can be!

I admit I have been through a LOT since I moved to a new country. I have been facing my fears, my insecurities, etc... a lot of darkness indeed. It's not easy to move alone, adapt to a new culture and language but most of all the process of growing PLUS all the rest has its ups and downs. At the end that's what makes the ride worthy...

Sometimes we reach the point, as I felt so many times while standing for myself in the past, thus some other moments we feel like we don't know anything anymore - am I learning something new today? Have I been listening to me lately? We question ourselves a lot of things!

So, while dealing with all the questions, darkness, how to overcome everything etc I've diving into a tons of seminars available on line, looking for books, reading articles - a bunch of good stuff! or sometimes, just stuff... and it turns out that what I thought it wasn't making any effect in fact it's making! I'm learning a lot with all the things I have listening to, reading and re-reading. It has been a ride, I must say!

Some weeks ago I moved house here in Doha.

The story started some time ago when I felt like moving into a house with a friend or with someone I knew simply because I didn't want to go through the same experience I had. Sharing a house always takes a lot of commitement and tolerance and if it seems easy, believe me, it's not. Sometimes it's not easy to share with a family so imagine with someone you barerly know! So, I wanted to move desesperatly but all my effort was heading me to zero. There was no flat available for me. I accepted the idea that all my prayers weren't being answered because it wasn't time for me to move. I had something to learn about that experience... and today I can see that. After some time, when I wasn't event thinking about moving house, I got the opportunity to do it. I looked to the sky I said "really? I wasn't thinking about moving anymore... Are you telling me that the lesson was accomplished and I can do it now?". After thinking a bit about moving house and said to myself "Let's try, if my request is approved then it was because was written...". So, I left to Heaven's will to decide what was better for me. And the answer was YES! I think I still can't thank enough about it. I moved to a better house and I'm much happier than before! The house has more light, even if my room is smaller at the same time the closet has much more space to stow all my things (and how many things we have and don't realize...!!!!). The house looks like... a home! The sofa in the living room is perfect to take a nap in the afternoon and I see myself taking even better meals, specially breakfast, than before. I never skip a good breakfast now.
There's no rush, I just manage the time perfectly before going to work.
Oh and from my room I have a beautiful balcony where the birds come to sing in the morning. I feel much better and blessed in this new house... just the privilege of listening to birds in my morning can change my mood like this :)
About my new flatmate so far I couldn't be more happy. She is tolerant, communicative, funny and has a good heart!
What a change it in my mood hein?! :)
The process of moving was funny tought. Even before moving, or getting the approval I felt like they would say yes, so I set my mind to start packing my stuff and sending to one of my friend's house, who lives in the same compound. The first 3 (some big) suitcases, one heater and one cover were sent and it was funny how my friend was saying "everything will fit in the taxi, I'm telling you, it has to!". I remember when we entered the lift with the suitcases and were squeezed by them... ehehehe.
but this was nothing! Then, the BIG moving happened some weeks ago when another friend of mine, who fortunately was also off, came to help me. From packing (because I didn't have time to pack everything as I arrived late the previous day of my moving from work) and stowing everything in the taxi it took more than one whole morning since 9 or 10 am. Almost at 12pm we finished packing and started to do trips ex-house - new house by taxi... 3 journeys, some phone calls, new keys and the move was done! My house was a mess, of course, and after breaking the fast with my friend who helped a LOT that day I started to feel like home. At night another friend came to help me and it was amazing how quick things went once she came and said "Yalla, let's go" - she reminded me how my mum is like this, like a militar as I say for fun.

I was in my new house and after everything was stowed I felt like I could start again a new life.

Fasting under 43 degrees but mostly under AC

I decided to fast this year on my days off while I'm on ground to experience the meaning of the Ramadan.
I always found the reasons behind fasting very beautiful and for the first time today when I friend asked me to eat something I felt very proud to say I was fasting. My fasting is still not perfect, I admit, but for the first time I'm not that bad... and I'm happy. Of course having a friend fasting as well, for the first time like me and for the same reasons, is also motivating because we cook together for us and break the fast together and celebrate. In a near future we will celebrate the Iftar in some good restaurant around and truely feel the spirit of Ramadan. And I'm happy!

It's not just about the words you said
It's not just about your voice that is beautiful for me
It's not just the way you used to blink your eyes to me
It's the way I love you and the way my soul is connected with yours.
I can not change. You are part of me.


:)

Sometimes I get surprised with my own strenght...

God is definitely fantastic and gave me such a power within that I really don't know from where it comes. The way I reborn from the ashes is surprising for me and I give all the rights to God/Universe who made me like this... this strenght comes from above for sure and from its LOVE.
Yesterday I was completely broken but I do believe I'm such a blessed person that the Universe sent me the right friends, and so a friend of mine managed to calm me down. It wasn't easy but she gave me the support I needed at that moment and I re-borned from the ashes.

Yesterday I read an article about love myths and love reality. I wandered about the subject for a while and I made my own conclusions. I took what was written and digested every word of it. I completely agreed in some aspects which were written and from those 5 myths I particularly selected the next ones:

1 - Love is not enough.

 We all heard this one and we can love or hate this quote but here it is what I realized: love is not enough but is in fact the big part of the thing! Of course we have to love the person is next to us but by saying this I'm not avoiding or hiding aspects that I might not like that much in that person. I am just accepting totally that person because I DO love her/him as a soul. Love is in fact the most important thing but there is also the compatibility. Since I was young I used to say, without realizing in fact what I was saying at that time, that love is not enough. You have to share the same lifestyle/way of thinking with the other person. Of course you can disagree about your favourite colour or some aspects of life, but, as long as you accept each other and RESPECT each others' opinion things can definitely work! Sharing the some principles is definitely important for me.

2 - If it's true love we will never fight.

Of course you will! This is one of the biggest myths ever. Even when we find our soulmate, we will fight. People need to comunicate, we are a social being and we will agree and disagree with people because we are all unique and nobody is like us. Plus, sometimes we are tired and the other will take something we say in a wrong way. It happens and it can happen! It is so normal to fight from time to time that is pointless to explore more this point here. The important message to keep is that one argument is not going to ruin your love story or all the love is going to fade away. In fact we can learn a LOT by having an argument with someone. We can learn about the other, how to listen more carefully and how to deal with that person (love partner or family or friends), being tolerant and patient... with love.

So many books and so little time....

After 10 days of deserved holidays I came back to Qatar, willing to read books like crazy, take care of myself and find a new me. Reading books, meditate and stay with myself and GOD is my number 1 priority as the Holy month is starting on 19th July.

Ramadan Kareem!

Written on 3rd July:

God is extremely wonderful. When I least deserve love that's when we send me HIS gifts and put people around me giving me love unconditionally.
Another day, while working, I must admit that my mood wasn't the best. I was very quiet, I wasn't saying anything or something nice to my colleagues, as I usually do. I wasn't even joking or making fun of something to make others happy, as I usually do.
I was with my thoughts and I was feeling blue and despite my mood, the thing is, my colleagues were somehow nice, somehow in little details they were expressing love... telling me to sit down and rest a bit, as I was working a lot or, at this time, making me laugh!
I felt good and I realized how good God is! I think we all deserve love, in good days and bad days and I experienced it... we deserve love anytime and we should receive it without regret!

Sometimes we share 4 days with people who end up turning like a family to us... & I feel so blessed and HAPPY about it... this is a true bliss of life!

- "He is my skin, my life, my heart, my soul..."

- "Well, if he is everywhere, then it's love..."

I did it!

30 min in the treadmill today and some stretching! I'm naturally skinny but it doesn't necessarily mean  that I'm fit and lately I have seen myself tired just for doing nothing. So, you can imagine how fit I am....
So, today was THE DAY! I said to myself it was time to face the gym - yes, I absolutely avoid/ignore/hate gym!! - but the treadmill it's better because it also helps my legs' circulation.
30 min in the treadmill, maybe 2 minutes in the bike and stretching!

A good way to start... being fit! (Let's see if it lasts.... ahahahah)

Dreams can change everyday. Yesterday I could have had a dream and today, after what I experienced I can have another dream. I do believe that new dreams are always welcome. That's what keeps us going on and on and seek for more.
Yesterday my dreams were different. Today, one of those dreams was acomplished - I moved country exactly one year ago. I remember all my fears, insecurities... everything! Today, I don't fear the same (do I? Well, at least I don't fear to live in Doha anymore eheheh). So, I made it... and it wasn't that bad! Actually, I'm very proud of myself, well, I really should!! What expected me was huge! I faced so many things in 1 year that I had to manage somehow... maybe this is the process of getting a real adult!
I'm facing my fears and my darkness (oh my, please, go away, give me a break pleeeease!!), I'm loosing insecurities from the past, I'm learning about myself and what I really want. My definition of love, friendship is totally different now. Today, I'm more pure I should say. There is no masks, there is no need to please anyone anymore, there is just ME, purely.
After seeing so many things in the company I work, on board and around the world (well, everywhere) shaped me for sure! I saw people using each other just for pleasure (feelings, where are the feelings, emotions, love??), I saw people being childish, nasty, arrogant, mean, stupidity in almost all kind of ways (maybe that's more, we never know...).
Once we get to see all of these things it's impossible to not get different. I do believe I did not turn out being a bitch but turn out to be more human and appreciate life differently as I changed and give more importance to what is real and from the HEART!
So, what others called crazyness, others courage... happened! For me, I just followed my intuition. I didn't know what to expect (at all!!), I said to myself over and over again "let's try" and I felt I had to come! It has been an incredible experience full of up's and down's and  I'm grateful!
Today, I have good friends here, people whom I love and love me back, I feel comfortable and know how do manage my daily life within this country (and its crazy crazy definitions of life). What makes a place is without any doubt the people you know, your friends!
I'm very happy for having such good (REAL) friends here... in this desert called Doha!
I know... you might be wondering: What about her family and friend from her country?
Those never leave my heart! My family and my REAL friends who live in my country (very few at the moment but the REAL ones!!) I miss everyday and I got used to miss them everyday... as well as my LOVE!