There is one place on earth I truely admire, LOVE and RESPECT: EGYPT!

Where everything begins....

Where, actually, my life began and made/makes sense!

Establishing limits

I confess, I have a problem establishing limits. I seriously don't like that. For me, everybody should understand my limits naturally and respect my space before my mouth saying something. This is what I would like to have but unfortunatelly/fortunatelly is not like that. I understand that we are all diferent and due our differences people can not guess exactly my limits and I understand that.

Though, this has been a struggle for me since I'm sharing the house with someone I did not choose to live with.

After struggling about whys and hows I thought to myself that imposing limits is also about choosing either with who I speak and share my thoughts and with who I do not.

After my discovery I felt a little bit better about the situation as I said to myself it was enough. I allowed someone to try to destroy my kindness and it was almost impossible to believe I have allowed so. When I said enough I was actually saying to myself I deserve happiness and good people surrounding me. Why shoud I put myself in a place where someone can hurt me or be rude with me? I have done it again but now I know.

The most positive aspect of travelling non-stop is the opportunity you have to meet special friends of your life who live in another part of the world.

Here I share with you, my introduction to Japonese food in... Brazil!!

Thank you, Marina, for this wonderful lunch and afternoon with you! Crossing fingers for the next time! :)

I was planning to write here before but I've been suffering from lack of time, jet lag and having problems with internet connection all over the world!

As usual, I've been super busy. Till here, there's no news about myself. Who knows me, knows I'm always doing something or planning something to do. The good news is I've started to plan the next East Fest Lisbon - Portugal 2013 with my dearest friend and dancer Cris Aysel. We both feel so much joy in planning everything from our hearts! Despite the crisis we both believe everything will work out better than ever!

 At the beginning of the month I also gained an amazing friend in my life who supports me in everything I do and help me to have faith and move forward with my dreams. The best part, I must admit, is that he is not trying to buy me either my soul to get something in return (as I've seen so many times in this country or... in these men!). In a short period of time we feel like pure brothers and I'm sure God sent him to be my friend. It wasn't just a coincidence. It was meant to be. For the first time I can truly trust a MAN to be my friend in this country. Finally!

In the another hand someone I thought to be my friend showed me his interests about me. There is nothing wrong about being interested about a person but I confess I cried once I got home. I felt like, showing his interest towards me was like forcing myself to change into someone I am not! It was completely weird and the situation made me feel really bad. Once again, trusting someone (MALE gender) to be your friend here is a challenge!

To add, another friend, is showing everytime to be very stressed and not supportive about me. I do believe she cares for me a lot as I also care about her, but sometimes, you want to help someone and you do not help at all when you try to assert something as the "right thing to do".
And about this I just need to say "there is no right or wrong in life". I learned with life.
You are you and no one can change you! You are the master of your life, as I am the master of my life & I declare I live by the heart and no one as the power to change me as I did not give permission for it!


Apart from some normal stresses of life I've been also planning some journeys to do, have been looking for books like crazy (I can't control myself when I see a bookshop) and I also have enjoying the wonderful presence of my real friends just to relax/chill out and speak things from the heart.
Oh yes, I'm very blessed about the people who sorrounds me with whom I can speak about God and LOVE!

The rest that doesn't suit me anymore, I'll deal with... asking for God's guidance every day and night.
I release all the things that don't make me good/are useless in the present moment.
Amen.

How everything started...

Yesterday and today I'm thinking about how everything started for me, some months before coming do Doha. I remember the girls I met in my interview, 2 of them I had the privilege to met in Doha again and are the best portuguese friends I could have here.


I remember being seated with one girl in a hotel in the North of the country waiting for the final interview when she said "I think we all will pass this interview". In her words I could feel somehow that she was right, that we really would pass this final test and the probability of coming to Qatar was huge! I felt excited and nervous at the same time. I knew this would change my life forever. All my habits, routines, mind, ideas... but I guess, never my heart and those I love.

So, she was right. And so I came do Doha. During the 3 months since I got the call and I got into the airplane I had to manage a lot of emotions. It was hard to say bye and dive into a new world alone.
I came without knowing anybody, and today, after 10 months here I feel I can move easily. Of course I still struggle with some daily things but we will always struggle with something in our daily life.
Tough I feel my experience here is not going to last many years I feel this is my place now to grow and learn about myself deeply. I feel I'm preparing myself to the BIG step of my life: decide where to live, what to do and fight for my love.
I truely believe Doha was/is meant for me now. Its strong and heavy energy is helping me (in some kind of painful way sometimes) to break the ties I had with the past so I can be free from within and smile whitin my soul!

This journey has been a wonderful experience, full of lessons... and thank God, I got to know real friends!

Have I mentioned lately how WONDERFUL & BEAUTIFUL life is?

Life is ALL of that!

Maybe is the Spring coming, maybe is the re-connection I am doing with myself & the Divine Source. 

If you want the Universe to help you, you have to help yourself first! That's what I am doing :)

The turning point

Today I experienced the turning point. After talking with a girl I know from my building yesterday she left me an invitation "Come to church with me tomorrow, everything will be ok". 

I was struggling trying to find an excuse to not go till I felt inside my heart and said "why shouldn't I try? Maybe there is a reason why she said that to me even without knowing me well and anyway she is so kind. Maybe something good can happen and it can be a turning point".

It was. Without any kind of expectation from my side. I took the best of it. This different church I found with these 2 wonderful future friends made me feel why I'm in Doha today. I felt emotional a couple of times in the church, I cried a bit and more when I reached my house. I felt like cleaning my soul. It was the turning point. The day I felt so cared by two people I barely know, the day I saw a different church where there is no images, just energy and where I heard "God does not seek a religion, God seeks a relationship". I was amazed (in positive way!) when I heard this! I always believed that GOD is present in all religions and Is ONE, no matter which name you call HIM. God is LOVE and all religions teach you LOVE. 

That's what I believe! but during my youth the way they taugh me religion wasn't according to this and that's why I was so surprised and happy when I heard someone saying today that God does not seek a religion but a connection with all of us. I heard this from a church and I'm very happy that the message of universal love is passing by like this.

I truly believe you it doesn't matter if you follow any kind of religion, if you are spiritual, follow your heart then God is within you because HE IS. I believe we have a precious ocean of divine love within us waiting to flow.

So, today, it was my turning point. After crying a lot when I reached home I understood a lot of things happening in my life and I'm feeling very blessed! I understood:

- Why I'm living in this country and facing my darkest fears

- Why I needed to experience some problems in my life right now

- I have met the right persons here who believe in the same I do.

I'm very grateful for today's blessings because TODAY it was the turning point. Today, I realized so many things! and today, after so long time, I could see auras again. Step by step I'm re-connecting with myself, I am cleaning my soul from all the fears, darkness and storms, I am reaching my heart, I am connecting with the Inner Source/Universe/God more than ever and today I decided there is no more tomorrows to do something for me. Today is the day to start caring more for me and my dreams and I am very happy I started to open my heart for good, once again.

And something helped me a lot and came to my mind like a flash today... everytime we clean the dust from the furniture, the dust comes up so we can clean deeper and deeper. So, in order to remove all my fears I have to go deep, I have to touch them like we do with the dust in the furniture, I have to recognize these fears so I clean them. So, there's nothing wrong about recognizing the fears, it just means you/I are/am commited to clean them! I'm cleaning the house, my Sanctuary within.

About books and stories

I have forgotten to write about the last book I read "My jouney with the angels".
This book can be an inspiration for those who suffered/suffer rejection or that strange look from people who don't understand what are we talking about when we speak about the angels.
Patricia, the author, suffered a lot since her youth because she was blessed with the gift of seeing angels. In the book you can feel amazed by the signs and things she sees/saw but you also can feel how hard her life was specially till her 20s. Sometimes you can even think "how did she managed to survive to all of this? To all this suffering?" and I guess the answer is easy, she just holded on to an enormous faith she has in their angels who never left her even when she tried to don't see them and ignore them.
It's a beautiful and strong story that will hold you till the end. The book/Her story is full of signs, beautiful moments and moments of real life which can be sometimes painful and joyful.
After I read books I always feel like one charpter has ended and another one is coming - maybe in a form of another book! and now I can think about what happened after reading this book. Some time later when with a friend of mine she said something like the spiritual people who really want to connect with the Source/Universe always go through moments of darkness and survive to emotional states that nobody can imagine. If I think about Patricia's story, I have to agree with my friend!
Despite all the darkness you/we can face we can always hold into our faith to go through. Sometimes it takes time to heal, to recover but we always get there.

Writen on 15th March:

I could say that days have been passing by but you all know about it. The truth is that I've been managing emotions for a while till I headed off to my country for another 5days of holidays, this time, more prepared in my mind for it and emotional seeking too much for reach my destination. This time it was imperative to go. I really wanted to stay with my family and recharge my energies as my grandma turned into an angel few days before. Since that day I really felt down and I tried to heal myself being quiet... within, I must confess, I was crying. Going to my country (a long journey of at least 12h and 24h awake) made me feel better, as well as having good friends who supported me on my pain.
These days in my country were absolutely amazing. I really felt that I slept, I huged from my heart my beloved ones without fears, I ran after my pets and I visited my sweet grandpa. Tought it was just 5 days in my country I felt like it were 15. The time seemed longer than the previous time in January and I felt good to be/see/hug/love my family and friends. I don't have to say how much good it was, I guess you can feel by my words.
It was also very special because I had some answers that I was seeking for. Without expecting anything, for real, I received beautiful pearls of wisdom through a card reading.
Despite all I'm facing since I moved to Doha and despite all dificulties I still have and face in my daily life and in my personal life, with all the ups and downs, I feel recharged!
Hopefully my energy is not going to fade away once I land in Doha and this beautiful energy of love will last! For now, I just want to think about how much love I have inside myself and how much of this love I don't express or allow myself to feel.

In a world of chaos I discovered I still can feel my heart.

I allowed myself to have a break from all the chaotic life I've been through. I met my friends and we went to another country nearby where we live. What I discovered was more than I expected, it was more than just sightseeing. It was like breathing, enjoying simple details of life. The most beautiful experience was being in a beautiful and absolutely peaceful mosque and listening the call for prayer and seeing with my heart people praying all together like real brothers. It was absolutely beautiful and I felt so in peace like I don't feel for some time. It touched my heart and I got emotional a couple of times, with tears in my eyes. I felt God there. I felt Love.

The proof that God is everywhere.

I have been working a lot and time has been less to write altought I feel an enormous will to do it.

Lately I've been going through a lot of stressing moments, situations and problems to solve. I allowed myself to have a break of 2 days off outside the country I live where I'll meet very dear friends and hopefully, alone and with them I'll come out fresh and new, stronger than ever.

Heading off to the airport with this one within my heart, filling my cells and my soul:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP8Z9u1__l0

Too much happening in my life and too many things to process lately...

Another day I was talking with a friend and we just realized that some people when reaching a good position in their jobs (in their country or abroad) completely forget from where they came from and they are consumed by the power. For me it's very sad seeing this happening and unfortunately I've seen a bit of it!

Thanks God, I don't forget from where I came from, who I am, my values... and I hope to be ALWAYS like that. Amen.

I just accepted some days ago

That I will LOVE you for the rest of my LIFE and it's ok.

I will LOVE you every minute of my existence because you are part of my SOUL and it's ok.

Even if we are not meant to meet this life anymore, I just want to say that I will wait for you my next life or another next lives to come. I wait for you, for us, to be ready and one.
You are PART of me and I love you unconditionally. And it's ok.
I surrender. I can't do anything to make you close to me. You are already close to me in my heart and soul. Forever. It was written by the stars and all the Angels. And it's ok if we can't be together this lifetime. It has to be ok. I love you deeply. And it's ok.

I have been diving into dark and reflexive moments lately.

I have been thinking and struggling with my unknown sadness for some long but I realized that these moments are priceless and precious as they awake us to something!

I have been fine, I just have been very honest with myself to recognize that something is wrong. I have been praying, holding to my faith and being in silence. Silence is a very powerful tool to heal our wounds and I'm taking it fully so I can also heal myself.

It's definitely time to heal.

Ideas and subjects to post are always flowing in my mind but sometimes I just don't have time to write everything and then I tend to forget!

Lately I've been thinking what makes you to get along with some people who turn into your friends and what's the recipe to get a good relationship with someone.

Of course there's no recipes at all, you just try everyday to be better or do better in the relationship and that's the only way you can discover what works for you or not.

During all my teen period I always said that it doesn't matter if you agree 100% with the person about one subject but as long as you two have the same life style then things can work. So, I have been saying this since I was teenager and I still say the same. Actually I can't expect people to think like me and have the same opinion but I just realized, now even more, that what makes you closer to a person is your values.

The most interesting part is that you can find the same values you have in another cultures or nationalities sometimes without realizing it. The Universe is extremelly generous with you when you are blessed with such good friends from different parts of the world and when you look deep you can see how much you have in common!