Yesterday my day was full of:


Tears and Laughs, Sorrow and Hope and by my beloved God


Thank you, Susana, for helping me to stand up for my battles, for giving me your hug when my heart was crying. Thank you, Susana and Pedro for opening your house and your hearts for me when I was falling into pieces. I loved the caloric dinner you made Sue. I needed that. I needed to be spoiled and I needed my friends.
It was wonderful to feel like home.
It was wonderful to dance yesterday. Despite all my rush to take the place of my friend Cris in a show (she was stake in Lisbon due the traffic jam), everything went so good that I just can say that God exists. All messy things that happened till I get the venue were absolutely brilliant.
I ended up laughing alone, not alone but with God, all night. It was good to see that when I'm more vulnerable things can be more brilliant... I didn't know what I was going to dance yesterday, I did not try to control everything around me. I forgot all my earrings, bracelets, and all that stuff that we usually use in a performance etc. I wasn't comfortable about my makeup (hmmm, makeup... I danced almost without makeup! I didn't have time for that!)
And yesterday, I don't know why, I reached the audience... People stopped to see me and they were really enjoying my art!! Wow! It really happened? YES! It cleaned my heart, my soul and my body cells.

In the end I was driving home, just with God by my side, and filled by His hope and His Love. Everything will be ok. Everything will be ok.

I'm miles from where you are
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

Snow Patrol



Yes, I love music. And I feel sick today. Too much coffee made some damage in my body for sure. And I don't like coffee. It was just a desperate way to be awake.
And I'm terribly tired... from everything. Everyone has their ups and downs and today I'm tired, that's all. I'm really tired.

Tired it's not the word

Today I'm sooooo tired that all my body seems to be uncomfortable about being awake. I studied till 5.30am and woke up today at 12pm... hum, 6.5h of sleep... not my average but that's ok. I need to make an effort to stay awake so I can study more.

I'm definitely tired but I'm confident that I will achieve my goals or at least I'm trying to believe because I'm so tired so tired so tired that I'm just running on empty without logical thougths. That's what I need: focus, to do the exercises! ... And some coffee please.

Shower, Shower, Shower

Yesterday I had in the audience my friends.
I always feel blessed when I know that they do everything to be present to see my performances :)

I was surprised by my neighbours. They went to see me as well...

My group of friends (including one ex-student and a student!) were always happy to see more and more dances and they really enjoyed to be present 3 hours just to see 4 dances... Love you all for the patience.

I think my performances were ok but I still have so much to improve... always, always and always! For this performance I prepared new material to dance but I'm always thinking further as I like to innovate and give a new fresh air to my dance.

My back pain is still here but I could dance without any problem. I had my muscle pain gel in case I feel worst.

When I got home and lay down on bed exhausted I fell asleep for seconds and woke up again to take my divine and obligatory shower. Then, I could sleep like an angel until morning.

It's almost finishing my study period, after that, I'm free like a bird and I'll have wings...

To summarize my last days, my brilliant back pain is back again! Sometimes when I walk I can feel my back screaming for help... ahahah... Oh, I hope to get better soon! :(
No more news: just studying and working all the time...
I can wait for the end of February to be officially out... it will taste sooooo good!

To open this post I need to say: God, I have pain on my back!!

This is what happens when a person like me forgets to warm up efficiently before training... grrr...

I stayed awake till 1 am to finish work which helped me to clean all my heart... so, don't complain Fipa... next time you will warm up at least 20 minutes, as a normal person... :( I hate when this happens.

Today, "Just say yes", from Snow Patrol, is the music of the day (for me, of course)! It's incredible how songs can reach us and read our minds and hearts. Sometimes they can be a fantastic glue to life..

Love this one Just Say Yes. So simple and truthful. As my dearest acupuncturist said to me once, Love is just simple as I want to be with you and share my life with you. Simple as that, without complications. He's right.

But why is so simple and so complicated at the same time: Love? Or it isn't complicated but we always find out how to complicate things?

My acupunct always have something good to say to me or, sometimes, just a joke! Always fills my soul with wisdow and laughs! I think he is a wise man and another blessing in my life.

Love is simply a path of taking care each other. And if you love, you care of your beloved. That's what I think...

"I'm running out of ways to make you see

I want you to stay here beside me

I won't be okay and I won't pretend I am

So tell me today and take my hand

Please take my hand

(...)

Please just say yes

Just say there's nothing holding you back

It's not a test

Nor a trick of the mind, only love

It's so simple and you know it is, you know it is

We can't be to and fro like this all our lives

You're the only way to me, the path is clear

What do I have to say to you for God's sake dear?

(...)

Just say yes

'Cause I'm acching and I know you are too

For the touch

Of your warm skin as I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt

This was all that I wanted, all I want

(...)

Just say yes (...)"

Brilliant.

And it reminds me another song that says "Baby, I'm a fool who thinks it's cool to fall in love" (Melody Gardot - Baby, I'm a fool)

Genius. Life is so curious..

Word of the day which I can't explain or understand what it is: pathologically single. What's this anyway?!

Life is definitely curious.

No words. Just feelings crossing my heart.

Here they are, some extracts from my daily readings to fill our hearts and souls:

(...)

The results of pure, true love are always positive. Those with pure love are never influenced by anyone. Their ability to discern never diminishes. When your love is pure, others will feel that your intentations are pure.
There will be love in your vision. And there will be kindness in that love. In pure love there is always kindness.
_____

(...)

People don't know how to give love, nor do they know how to receive. Thus the heart is empty. This is why they don't know what love is. Actually, just to take the time and effort to understand what love is, is in itself an act of love.

___

(...)

The world is a supermarket of sorrow. Don't buy any! A good spiritual
education teaches you how to be discerning in your shopping. Refuse to
accept anything but hapiness from others as well as the world.

The Wisdom and Words of Dadi Janki

Presents from God

From many presents that we all receive from Universe during the day I received one, just now...
I was reading a book which I'm considering to name as a Bible for me when my sweet kitten wrapped her tail in my arm in a pure gesture of affection. It had so much sweetness in... ohh my heart melted and I couldn't avoid giving a kiss to my petite chat. God is everywhere. Absolutely.

Welcome 2010!

I'm in a happy mood... the last day of 2009 was so great! I spoke with special friends, laughed a lot and I tremendous felt how lucky I am for having such good friends!

In the beginning of 2010 I went to the airport, oh yeah...

I wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year! ... 365 days of happy and warrior mode.

Love love love and peace, the internal one :)

Now, it's time to manage our agendas and set what's important for us! Besides other important things I'll begin with my exams calendar for January but I'm so so happy that I'm enjoying everything!

Huumm... I was watching a documentary on TV that reminds me the best coffee I have ever tasted in the world... I'm not a big fan of coffee and I really miss that one! The best one!

Next projects or plans for 2010:

- Keep updating news for the 1st bellydance festival in Lisbon, Portugal - East Fest 2010!

- January: a chaotic month in university with exams! Material to study and exams to do...

- February: more exams and... visit friends and my dearest cousin who's living abroad?!

- April: East Fest 2010 in Lisbon, Portugal!!

2010 wishes: wisdow, love, protection, a full ocean of internal peace, mental and physical health. I will meditate with my books in a great beginning of 2010!
I just can conclude that it doesn't matter if you will have a huge or terrific new Year's Eve night. Don't forget the most important thing: make your new year a new challenge to make your life better, not just for one night but for all 2010 =)

Peace. Love.

My soul is being colored with hope, love and strengh.

I know that I'm not alone (God is with me, with all of us, brothers) and I'm able to go forward with my life. I'm drawing my hopes, throwing away my fears and breathing my dreams. My journey, our journey starts now.
Be yourself, be a person of unconditional love and peace. Always.

I'm trying to clarify some situations in my mind and heart these days...

2010 is coming and the best way to receive this beautiful present from universe is surrender to my destiny and all good things that are expecting for me in the new year. I'm trying to breath all good energies and a good quantity of hope. I'm filling my soul with good books full of wisdom in order to get a balance in my life/heart.

It's certain that I have lot of work to be done and my disposal in this moment is zero but I think that I will achieve my moment goals soon (choreographies and classes to prepare).

Today, my brain is tired, my soul is tired, I'm tired and fade up. Tomorrow is a new day.

For 2010 I'm preparing/planning some trips, with friends and alone.

My last new idea was something like "I'm thinking about going to India to a spiritual venue. I would like to know that people, I'm sure that I lived there in other lifes..."

well, it seems that I always have great ideas to shock my family eheheh. I don't do it for purpose. Perhaps I'm just different from my family... or crazy.

I'm not planning going to India soon, it was just an idea... but I would like to go there one day!

Once I told my sister that I would like to work in a country (outside EU) and she answered me, with a serious face, that she won't support me if I do that. Humm... it's always good to know. I started laughing for 2 seconds and then explained her why I want to go.

I feel that I need to go there (to many places, actually), I have love inside my heart and something tells me to go, so, I'm sure that Universe will give me the tools that I need to follow my destiny. It always reminds me what one woman told me once "2009 will be the year (...)". It has been the year, indeed, in terms of development and Love...?!

Good news: I'm leaving my darkest side slowly...

the begining of 2009 was a huge dark whole but fornutely I'm leaving my darkest side to be a new me. I met a huge light in my life, a present from the Universe, the most beautiful one and because of that I'm more bright now (or trying to be) and I'm looking forward to be more peaceful, honest and truthful with myself. Always. After 24 years I realize that I forgot to be me, just me. I forgot to fill my soul... I was looking outside instaed of turning within and coming to know the Self. Me.

June was a bright month for me for many reasons (many, many, many!). It was an awakening for me! Thank you, Universe, for your present.

About my troubled path: I just want to say I'm sorry for those people I hurt in some way in this difficult journey and "many many" thank you to my friends for being there for me!

I'm recovering from my deep exhaustion and finding my place. Finally. Thank you, God.

Besides my trips, one of my 2010 main wishes is to find myself. ME.

I hope you all find yourselves in your unique path. Light, peace and Love. Be patient with yourself and you will find your richness.

Filling my heart with a special song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwsHE7VBbhE

"Take me to the airport
And put me on a plane
I got no expectations
To pass through here again"

Tolerance is based on going beyond the superficial things that divide us.

It's result of turning within and coming to know the Self. If I can deal with my own ego, then my own anger can be resolved. This goes a long way in resolving external issues too. With my own ego out of the way, I will able to handle anything! Otherwise, it's just the same old thing - you versus me, yours versus mine etc - intolerance. If I'm unselfish and honest in my heart, I am concerned about other's needs, and am full enough to give. When you know the self in this way, then you can know others. "I should be understood" changes to "I should understand". Not, "they should change", but "I will give what's needed". Patience, peace and maturity develop. Spiritual tolerance cultivates innate wisdow, the kind you can't get from books.

Turn within and in silence fill yourself with your Godly inheritance. Always remember, you don't have to prove anything. Whatever is true is going to be revealed, anyway. Working to win the hearts of others is what will bring happiness to your life.

Dadi Janki, Wisdow of Tolerance in "Companion of God"

Just arrived from my show and I'm wondering where is my soul...
I deeply love to dance, I feel the music inside me and my soul connects with divine energies but, I don't know why, lately, I don't feel unicity and surrender as I wished...
I forgot that I also need to breath sometimes and have time for me. I'll do that, for sure, through The wisdom and words of Dadi Janki. My new acquisition. A beautiful one that will change my soul for better :)