Monday, 30 January 2012

Going through ups and downs like a carousel!
Lately I have been silent for so many reasons. Besides trying to manage a very busy life when I sleep just God knows how many (few) hours, work like crazy and professionally I'm also trying to deal and manage my private life. Between my homeland and where I live, between a confused heart and a confused mind, between worries here and there. I'm sure this is just one phase which will pass soon but there is some obstacules that I have to deal with. I have to open my heart in order to listen to my inner voice and to what it's saying. Everything will be perfect, I just need to organize my ideas and to listen to myself, and for that, I need silence :)

Thursday, 19 January 2012

It was another ordinary day of flying but this time full of beautiful white snow outside
The snow made my day and made me feel like a child enjoying a sweet.

I was working a lot and I barerly notice details when I stopped and in front of me was a lady wearing a beautiful necklace with a Nefertiti. I thought "How come I didn't notice it before?"
No, I think I couldn't see it before till I really have to sit and in front of me was that lady. I felt my heart saying that Egypt is calling for me and how much I miss it.
The funny was, she could be seated in one of the 200 somethings seats available and I could be seated somewhere but somehow we were seated in front of each other and she was wearing something very special for me... it was like saying "hi, here is Egypt again!".

Life is absolutely curious :)

Monday, 16 January 2012

4 full days have passed like a tornado in my country and I'm already in Doha.

Once I land in my city I started to feel akward, I really don't know if it's normal after some months apart from our countries or not but I felt strange. 

I had a fantastic reception at the airport with my friends and family and some tears rolled through my face. These 4 days were full of people, lack of sleep so I could enjoy every minute with each of them. I felt tired all the time because a suddenly allergy appeared and I confess I didn't stop a minute but I do not regret. I enjoyed every minute. 
And I got the chance to assimilate all my time spent around the world while in my country. I stopped for a bit and I realized how much I changed. Still, I do not know how MUCH I am changed... maybe I'll always find it out along the way...

And I think that I'm feeling down for some time now. Maybe it's another desert in front of me to go through!
Rome, 10th January 2012

Everytime I thought about coming to my country my heart jumped of hapiness and I could feel my anxiety for being with my beloved ones. I said to a friend that I would arrive in Europe and cry but the fact is that I was so tired of being awake almost 24h that I couldn't drop one single tear. While listening to my music I remembered all the obstacules I went through to arrive here, at this point of my life. I have to be so much proud of myself. I can see how much I grew up. I went through all these challenges and I am proud of myself.
I feel more mature, more peaceful, more sociable and at the same time more reserved.
It is funny how I define myself sometimes, like opposites! but the truth is that we are made of opposites which complete yourselves.
Today, I feel myself asking more questions, being truely independent, talking and having fun with unknown people on the street and trusting God, I can talk and give a bit of myself without giving too much. I can be true.
While I write these lines at Rome International Airport I think about my life... and I can't say anything besides I'm happy today for coming home to embrace love!
There is a place where we always found ourselves: inside our hearts, in communion  with our roots/family and in the arms of your soul mate.
Time to go. Let's see if I cry in Lisbon...


(Actually I cried while in Rome Airport...)
Beautiful article writen in portuguese that I decided to share with all of you.
I suggest you to use an online tranlator in order to get an idea about what it says because it really worth it!
The title is "God by Spinoza".

Deus segundo Spinoza

“Pára de ficar rezando e batendo o peito! O que eu quero que faças é que saias pelo mundo e desfrutes de tua vida. Eu quero que gozes, cantes, te divirtas e que desfrutes de tudo o que Eu fiz para ti.
Pára de ir a esses templos lúgubres, obscuros e frios que tu mesmo construíste e que acreditas ser a minha casa.
Minha casa está nas montanhas, nos bosques, nos rios, nos lagos, nas praias. Aí é onde Eu vivo e aí expresso meu amor por ti.
Pára de me culpar da tua vida miserável: Eu nunca te disse que há algo mau em ti ou que eras um pecador, ou que tua sexualidade fosse algo mau.
O sexo é um presente que Eu te dei e com o qual podes expressar teu amor, teu êxtase, tua alegria. Assim, não me culpes por tudo o que te fizeram crer.
Pára de ficar lendo supostas escrituras sagradas que nada têm a ver comigo. Se não podes me ler num amanhecer, numa paisagem, no olhar de teus amigos, nos olhos de teu filhinho... Não me encontrarás em nenhum livro!
Confia em mim e deixa de me pedir. Tu vais me dizer como fazer meu trabalho?
Pára de ter tanto medo de mim. Eu não te julgo, nem te critico, nem me irrito, nem te incomodo, nem te castigo. Eu sou puro amor.
Pára de me pedir perdão. Não há nada a perdoar. Se Eu te fiz... Eu te enchi de paixões, de limitações, de prazeres, de sentimentos, de necessidades, de incoerências, de livre-arbítrio. Como posso te culpar se respondes a algo que eu pus em ti? Como posso te castigar por seres como és, se Eu sou quem te fez? Crês que eu poderia criar um lugar para queimar a todos meus filhos que não se comportem bem, pelo resto da eternidade? Que tipo de Deus pode fazer isso?
Esquece qualquer tipo de mandamento, qualquer tipo de lei; essas são artimanhas para te manipular, para te controlar, que só geram culpa em ti. Respeita teu próximo e não faças o que não queiras para ti. A única coisa que te peço é que prestes atenção a tua vida, que teu estado de alerta seja teu guia.
Esta vida não é uma prova, nem um degrau, nem um passo no caminho, nem um ensaio, nem um prelúdio para o paraíso. Esta vida é o único que há aqui e agora, e o único que precisas.
Eu te fiz absolutamente livre. Não há prêmios nem castigos. Não há pecados nem virtudes. Ninguém leva um placar. Ninguém leva um registro.
Tu és absolutamente livre para fazer da tua vida um céu ou um inferno.
Não te poderia dizer se há algo depois desta vida, mas posso te dar um conselho. Vive como se não o houvesse. Como se esta fosse tua única oportunidade de aproveitar, de amar, de existir. Assim, se não há nada, terás aproveitado da oportunidade que te dei.
E se houver, tem certeza que Eu não vou te perguntar se foste comportado ou não. Eu vou te perguntar se tu gostaste, se te divertiste... Do que mais gostaste? O que aprendeste?
Pára de crer em mim - crer é supor, adivinhar, imaginar. Eu não quero que acredites em mim. Quero que me sintas em ti. Quero que me sintas em ti quando beijas tua amada, quando agasalhas tua filhinha, quando acaricias teu cachorro, quando tomas banho no mar.
Pára de louvar-me! Que tipo de Deus ególatra tu acreditas que Eu seja?
Me aborrece que me louvem. Me cansa que agradeçam. Tu te sentes grato? Demonstra-o cuidando de ti, de tua saúde, de tuas relações, do mundo. Te sentes olhado, surpreendido?... Expressa tua alegria! Esse é o jeito de me louvar.

Pára de complicar as coisas e de repetir como papagaio o que te ensinaram sobre mim. A única certeza é que tu estás aqui, que estás vivo, e que este mundo está cheio de maravilhas. Para que precisas de mais milagres? Para que tantas explicações?

Não me procures fora! Não me acharás. Procura-me dentro... aí é que estou, batendo em ti.

Baruch Spinoza.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Packing and heading off to my country - soon, very soon!!

Can't wait to hug my family and my real friends. Doha has been a great lesson so far, I think I still didn't realize how MUCH I'm changed... I guess I'll see it when I land in my homeland.

I can't wait to see my beloved ones, hug them, kiss them and share my love with them!
At the same time what I'm going to face is completely unknown as many friends I used to have are silence now and I guess I'll face definitely how much important I'm to them when I land. It is ok. The Universe will always help me.

Anxious to go home! :)

Saturday, 7 January 2012

What I just resumed today...

All my friends, despite their job position are humble. They know their roots, their values and they stand still to what they are. Of course, we all in our lives experienced to deviate once from our hearts and did what we feel to be stupid things that brought us harm afterwards but I also realized that sometimes we need to fall apart to come back wiser and put the pieces together again. Sometimes we need to break to re-born, fully connected with ourselves.

I absolutely love my friends, the old and the new ones that the Universe brought into my life!

Yes, I love my friends, those who can stay in 5 * hotel and still feel the same and being even more human without being fascinated by outside appearances.

I hold on to my values and to who I am.

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Agenda for 2012:

Don't look back. Yesterday is no longer today. Today is the only moment that matters.

Being love, breathing love - no regrets, just being happy!

Conecting with my inner voice, my heart and listening carefully to all the signals from above (so many dear Universe, so many! Thank YOU for ALL the guidance!!)

Cultivating more love, patience, tolerance with myself and others.

Living from the heart, without fears, without egos. 
Dissolving all negative thoughts and energies into LOVE - the most powerful energy of LIFE!

Chasing for my dreams, without fears! Now it's the time. If not now, when?!

Praying with the heart and hoping the BEST that is always yet to come!

PROSPERITY, LOVE, PROTECTION FOR ALL OF YOU IN 2012!!
Rituals of the last day of the year!

Yesterday, 31st of December I took time to myself and besides letting go all the old that doesn't matter anymore, I also cleaned all my body from its dead cells. I pampered myself.
I scrubbed all my body with a sweet scrub gave from a friend and I left myself being washed by the warm water while I listened to good music!

I cleaned my being and I prayed from the heart!

This was my ritual on the last day of the year!
Starting the first day of 2012 with a cup of tea, meditations, books and LOVE!

And the birds singing out there...




And so 2012 has come...

I missed my family and our amazing dinner together in the last day of the year, I missed my friends and huging my pets, I missed laughing till my tears come out and I miss the man I love... and 2012 has come!

I'm grateful for 2011 which gave me so much! I took important decisions in my life, I organized the hugest festival in my country which was so much special this year, I had true feelings,  I met amazing people who are in my heart, I moved country concretizing one of my dreams, I felt my heart, I fell down and I standed up again. I cried and I laughed, I grew... I guess I lived!


One of the most challenging events was moving country and feel all the ups and downs it includes!
One of the most challenging events was being next to the man I love and feel his perfume.
One of the most challenging events was meeting beautiful people, bad people and discover the difference between true friends/friends/so so friends!

2011 was also the year I lost a member of my family. Despite my selfish sadness I know/I feel she achieved the peaceful freedom she was seeking for so long. Somehow I have to be grateful because she finally met what she wanted to for so long. With you, sweet auntie, all my worries left. You took them away. I know you are just happy.


2011 was also the year where love persisted! I have a new member of the family, some friends got married, a friend is pregnant!


2011 was also the year where I inevitable met the beautiful people that are suppose to be in my life now!
Such beautiful friends with whom I laugh and share moments with. The friends of my new life.


2011 was also the year where I crossed many deserts. Sometimes I found some water in this desert and got through some difficulty, other times I just didn't find any water to drink. In resume I faced dark moments of myself, where I couldn't conect with my inner self and this has been my big big challenge of 2011! I'm still working in it, we will always will, but 2011 was pretty evident in this particularly area. It's time to heal, once again, it's time to grow, it's time to conect with myself, it's time to love myself, it's just time to love and be loved.



and so 2012 has come in a normal day, away from my family, friends and love but brought hope in this new year that arrives, here, right now for us. 2012 is a year of change, it will be full of challenges, more powerful than in 2011 I believe and it's definitely the year to transform ourselves. It's time to change, it's time to conect with the Source/Universe/God, it's time to release and let go all the egos and fears, it's time to be happy, it's time to live without sorrow, diseases and sadness. It's time to LOVE! Freely, abundantly, unconditionally!
It's time to live our dreams, pursuit them and be fully aligned with our inner voice/heart!

Amen!