Looking for changes, being the change that I want to see

I'm struggling for too long about the changes that I want to see/experience.

I want to move and that's not new for those who know me... YES I want to change, I want to be the change and I want to do everything and be everything! It's kind of a impossible or a mad dream! I don't know what it is. I believe that nothing is impossible if you trust yourself and if you deeply feel that's your way. When you profoundly feel that, then go ahead, leave all your fears behind, don't let them to interfere because that's your path and God is watching you.

I'm trying to do my best to be the change and I'm looking for everything, everywhere and for NOW. I'm always asking for more, more and more and sometimes I ask myself why I'm like that. Maybe I'm different, maybe I'm strange, maybe something is wrong with me. Why do I think that I should go away from my homeland and try to be who I want to be or who I really am?!

I think that I just want to be free to be ME and do what I really feel from the bottom of my heart... and my heart says so many things at a time that sometimes it's hard to manage... or it's just my mind interfering once again with all its fears.

This can be a complete madness! Believe me. (Oh, I deeply want this, my heart asks for it, yes, I want, I want, I want but... no, wait, maybe it's not good to want this. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe, maybe, maybe... oh no but my hearts says he wants and feels this is the way, ok, then go ahead... but wait, maybe, maybe, maybe... aaaaaahhhhhhh madness! I need to switch off my mind sometimes, seriously, sometimes it just makes me crazy)

I need to look within and listen to God. HE will give me HIS wisdom that I need to make the right choice.